Greetings and salutations! This is Dave “El Diablo del Dunko” Hauser here with an exciting new column for you prospective hydrodunkers out there filled with snakes and spiders and boy-touching Michael Jacksons! No, you prospective hydrodunkers aren’t filled with the snakes and spiders and Michael Jacksons, that was just a modifier that somehow got misplaced in the sentence. In all actuality, the exciting new column is the thing filled with snakes and spiders and Michael Jacksons, but now th...