America, prepare to hear the infinite wisdom of the class of 2004. The following are ACTUAL QUOTES of some students that I’ve taken the time to write down in my red notebook. All names are omitted to protect the stupid. “Who needs creative writing?” “I’m goin’ to college because it’s what comes after high school. How’s that for a reason?” “I’m going to be an actuary.” [What do they do?] “Something with numbers.” [So you like math?] “No, but I get paid a bunch of money.” “Why ...

America, prepare to hear the infinite wisdom of the class of 2004. The following are ACTUAL QUOTES of some students that I’ve taken the time to write down in my red notebook. All names are omitted to protect the stupid. “Who needs creative writing?” “I’m goin’ to college because it’s what comes after high school. How’s that for a reason?” “I’m going to be an actuary.” [What do they do?] “Something with numbers.” [So you like math?] “No, but I get paid a bunch of money.” “Why ...

I’ve been watching many movies lately. Well, not that I didn’t watch movies before. You see, I work at a video rental business. As part of my extensive employee benefits package that includes such fantastic things as getting paid minimum wage and receiving a thrilling congratulations letter marking the end of my first year there (no bonus, no party, just a letter), I also have access to free rentals. Recently, I’ve found myself watching many a movie involving samurais and ninjas and th...

I’ve been watching many movies lately. Well, not that I didn’t watch movies before. You see, I work at a video rental business. As part of my extensive employee benefits package that includes such fantastic things as getting paid minimum wage and receiving a thrilling congratulations letter marking the end of my first year there (no bonus, no party, just a letter), I also have access to free rentals. Recently, I’ve found myself watching many a movie involving samurais and ninjas and th...